When my first child was just a few months old, I felt confused and sometimes lonely, lacking resources for motherhood. I always share the story of how lucky I was to find breastfeeding support groups from La Leche League and mom-baby yoga classes, where I not only found support and a community but also valuable information. One day, while browsing the extensive family book library of the group leader I attended, I stumbled upon a book about baby sign language. I asked about it and was fascinated.
I got the book and read it when Renzo was 4 months old. We waited until Renzo could sit up on his own, and then we slowly started introducing signs. It was wonderful; I remember how much fun we had, how we connected, and how we understood each other. My disappointment came when, in an international respectful parenting group, someone asked how to connect with their baby. I suggested the book, and suddenly many other parents jumped in and questioned this approach. They argued that teaching signs to a baby who can speak and hear perfectly was unnatural, and that I “could” connect with my child without that tool. I felt devastated, like a bad mother for not being able to connect.
A lot of introspection, time spent seeing myself as a mom, evaluating my skills, my relentless pursuit of a network, intention in connecting, and gathering information led me to realize that it was the best thing for Renzo and me at that time. Today, I can’t tell you if it’s natural or not. It helped me a lot; at that moment, it was a tool that allowed me to experience motherhood differently, and we built a beautiful bond with my baby.
With Elu, it wasn’t necessary. In fact, we introduced some signs while playing, but the reality is that other tools such as massage, diaper changing, and bathing have made our bond different too. There’s another connection, not better or worse than the one I had with Renzo, just different. It’s also because I’m not the same mom I was with Renzo, nor am I the same person I was before.
Whatever method you choose to connect with your baby, trust yourself, your abilities as a caregiver for that little one. If you have doubts, ask, research, but always filter everything through your own perspective. Ultimately, what you do should resonate with who you are now and who you want to be tomorrow.
If you’re looking to connect with your baby and are interested in infant massage or more information on nurturing the bond with your little one through everyday care, feel free to email me at hola@sofisabina.com.
